Matt's Recipe Page

Even casual viewers of Children of the Stones will have noticed Matthew’s unorthodox eating habits. He seems to create sandwiches on the fly, using anything to hand. But does this make him a crazy fool or an early Heston Blumenthal?

I decided to find out. The proof, as they say, is in the mackerel and chocolate pudding…

A strong, maverick sandwich that apologies to no-one 

Ham, banana, gherkins and honey sandwich

First up, a simple classic. Ham, banana, gherkins and honey. I prepared this delicacy on rye , went for the finest ham, and local, West Country honey, naively believing this would make a difference. 


Well. It’s not as bad as you’d imagine. OK the banana sits uncomfortably with the other ingredients, but if you think of it as a simultaneous main/pudding you can fool yourself into thinking its a proper sandwich. 



Ham, mint jelly, mayonnaise and apple crumble sandwich

Matt really aimed to impress Sandra with this one, suggesting in an optimistic, laissez-faire fashion that they dine on a ham, mint jelly, mayonnaise and apple crumble sandwich.


Not so much a sandwich as a bread-bound collection of physical sensations, few of them pleasant. Perhaps the only saving grace is the partnership of apple and ham, which works. But mint jelly? I’m starting to think Matt didn’t like Sandra at all. For those of you who are wondering, mint jelly soaks into the bread and gives the whole thing a minty fresh nastiness that’s hard to put into words. 



A dangerous sandwich which should be isolated before incineration